I sit here in silence with
no reason left to care.
A life not worth living
that is my life, I swear
I started a process,
a journey, a little while
ago.
I call it the difficult
process of trying to let go.
You look at your life,
All the experiences
up to now,
and you wonder how you got
through it all
asking, “Really…how?”
You’ve reached out to
family for love and support,
You’ve been there
for them all the time,
for what it didn’t matter,
but now you need their
help this time but your
idea of family is now shattered.
So you sit still in silence
with no family to care.
A life not worth living
is a life with no family here.
So you think,“I have friends.
I’ll reach out to them instead.”
After all they say they
love you and care
Atleast that’s what they’ve said.
You contact them and
try hard to make plans to get there,
but you soon realize
that these friends are
just those of fair weather.
They’re too busy, self-absorbed,
with so many other things to do.
How quickly they forget
all the times you’ve
helped THEM when
they needed you.
You realize at this time
these friendships have to end.
In your loneliness and despair,
you now know,
you were always the better friend.
So you sit, still in silence,
with no friends left to care.
A life not worth living is
a life with no friends there.
Alone you sit remembering all the times
you asked God to get you out of this.
“Pray to him.” “Have faith in him.”,
that is what they’ve said.
He’s supposed to help
you out of this abyss.
But time and time he’s let you down,
no faith in him you feel or have left.
For all your prayers have
gone unanswered
and all you feel now is bereft.
So you sit in silence
pondering now,
deeply below the surface,
the meaning of your life, why,
and what exactly is the purpose?
But all that answers is the
silence around you.
No answers are you given.
And with no answer found you ask ,
“What’s the sense of living?”
There you sit in silence with no purpose left to care.
For a life not worth living is a life with no purpose there.
So you tie the rope tightly, slipping
the noose around your neck.
There’s only one thing
left to do and that’s
to step off the upper deck.
You do and there you hang in silence.
No life left in you to care.
Your life was not worth living
so now you are no longer there.
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